I think it is time to Fire My Doctor

time to cut the cord…

When I leave my doctor’s office I am usually in tears with frustration and hopelessness. This is not how I go into the doctor’s office and I am pretty sure unless there is some kind of bad news given; coming out more upset than going in isn’t how this is supposed to work.

It is as if my chart reads:

It is as if I have been black-balled from getting any compassion or professionalism whatsoever.

A teeny bit of backstory here: I went to this particular doctor’s office three years ago complaining of chronic pain in my joints and muscles, issues with inflammation (and the chest pain from taking so much Ibuprofen) and explaining that the pain wasn’t always in the same place or places.

The lady listened so sympathetically. She made a lot of notes. Blood was taken, tests were run, I left feeling very optimistic that we would find a solution, a diagnosis, easily! And then — we’d concoct a plan to fix it or treat it.

I still remember the test results being explained to me with a very different tone. This time it was very condescending: Ma’am the test results show that you do not have any inflammation. in fact, we can’t find anything wrong with you.

I went to see the clinical psychologist and actually met with the head of the department for about 6 months or so. Initially, we did a nearly-two-hour evaluation to determine what psychological problems there were. She took a few days to gather her diagnosis while I went home and prepared for the worst.

The call came. Was I bi-polar? — No. Manic-depressive or any other form of depressiveness — NO. Schitzophrenic, Narcissistic, and other “ — istic” or
“ — ological”?

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