Magical Bus Tickets

Avoid these kinds of goals

How do I make myself seem like a cool guy? I thought hard. She seemed cool.

We sat down across from each other, wondering what to ask to start a safe conversation without going into anything remotely offensively. Politics? No, school loans? Nah, the scar on her face? Absolutely not. Maybe career goals?

“I hope to earn enough money to own a gas station,” she said with a smile.

Did she love gas? What about beef jerky? Roller food? Nachos where you can put a ton of cheese on top? So many questions! Why on earth does she want to own a gas station?

“Gas stations make tons of money, I’d be set for life!”

It was our first week of work and we were the only two who didn’t bring lunch. We went out for burgers. At some point, we started talking about our hometowns. I wasn’t paying attention. I wanted to know about her future gas station.

What would she do if she had a gas station? I assume she would work at the gas station or hire someone to work there for her. What would she do then? I thought working at a gas station wasn’t a pleasant job. In Grand Theft Auto, you always rob the gas station. I don’t want a gun pointed at me.

When my friends and I get drinks at the bars on Friday, they often complain about some test they just took. I ask my them what their end goal is because I want to know why they are in college with me. There has to be a reason right? I often get something along the lines of,

“I want to get a big house and a hot wife.”

That makes sense. You can watch Netflix in your house and then have sex with your hot wife. Who wouldn’t want that? Why doesn’t everyone want that? I don’t know. Maybe they have Hulu…

I wonder if they could take a magical bus ticket and arrive at their destination with that goal completed, and if they would be happy? They would take the ticket, but most times they say they wouldn’t be happy. They can watch Netflix and have sex now. Why even take the ticket then?

If it did, I would be happy to share my Netflix password with them and pay for a prostitute to have sex with them after an episode of Stranger Things. That’s their life goal after all. I wish I could give everyone that.

Get a notepad and write down what your favorite activity was from every year of life starting from when you were 5. Here are mine.

5–6. Super Smash Bros Nintendo 64

7–8. Legos

9. YugiOh Cards

10. Beyblades

11–14. Maple Story and Gamecube, Basketball

15–17. Basketball, Jazz Band

18. Volunteering, Jazz Band, Madden

19–21. Basketball, Madden, Partying

22 (right now). Writing, Super Smash Bros Nintendo Switch (some things never change), Walking my dog when he isn’t lazy

What is consistent with my list? What is on yours? Please tell me if you see something. I think there are common themes on everyone’s list.

It’s always the journey and not the destination.

Your path is better than the given one.

Your immediate network really is who you are.

If you do set New Year’s Resolutions, don’t. If you really wanted these things, you would have started your resolutions back in September.

If you must, make sure to set goals that are about implicit growth. Find something you love to do and try to improve yourself by 1% every day. Become a better lover by 1%. Be a better business person by 1%. Make someone’s life easier by 1% every day.

Here are goals for 2019.

Happy New Years!

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