Why Is It So Hard To Accept Help?

Why do we try to carry on by ourselves?

So many hands reaching out. Ready to help you. And yet, you turn away. Why?

Do you think you don’t need help from anyone? That you’re tough and capable? Strong enough to go it alone?

Well, tough and capable as you are, sometimes you need a helping hand. You have to set side false pride, fear of being let down, fear of exposure, of being thought weak, or whatever fear’s holding you back, and accept a hand up.

And, believe me, it is false pride.

You may be proud of what you are able to do on your own, but to willfully ignore those times when you know you need assistance is nothing but stiff-necked, false pride.

I know it’s hard. You try to teach your children to be capable, to stand on their own two feet. It’s almost a point of honor, to be able to support yourself, to go it alone.

But hard as it is for a man to accept help, it can be even harder for a woman.

Because society teaches us the woman is the one who’s supposed to be the helper. And after all, even the bible says woman is meant to be man’s help-meet.

Now, nothing against the good book, and not to put too fine a point on it, but the bible is a product of the patriarchy of its time. It was compiled by men, from scrolls and texts written exclusively by men — at least, those texts which made the final cut, way back when.

But books, good or not, aside, you, as woman, are the accepted care-giver. The one who’s always there to help out, to lift others up. So you should be able to manage on your own. Right?

Well, don’t drink the kool-aid on that one just yet, Martha. In case you haven’t been paying attention, women are as deserving of self-care as any segment of humanity. Perhaps even more so.

It’s what they teach airline attendants. You can’t help anyone ’til you help yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask first, or you won’t be able to assist the kids or the infirm.

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