Trump Under Fire for Wall Contractor Choice

Political Satire

President Trump held a press conference today announcing his decision to hire a foreign company out of Denmark to build his wall along the U.S. and Mexico border. “I’ve chosen a great company, a really fantastic company to build this wall. This wall is so important, it is, it’s very important. So, I made a great decision, I really did, I hired a very large company with a very long history to do this and they’ll do a terrific job, they really will. I’ve decided to hire LEGO.” The gallery of journalists erupted, demanding the reasoning behind hiring a foreign company. MSNBC immediately accused the President of having colluded with Denmark, when asked to elaborate they revealed they had incriminating evidence of a person from Denmark who once stayed at a Trump Hotel.

The criticism didn’t end there, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweeted “Not only is this un-American, but also dumb. LEGO’S ARE HARD TO USE!!! I’ve never been able to figure them out. #moregovernmentwaste” CNN is running an exclusive story this evening, they’ve apparently got proof that all of President Trump’s children have personal experience with LEGO, questioning his ethics and accusing him of ‘playing favorites.’

Democrat leaders are now calling for a full investigation into the Trump family’s ties with LEGO and any trips they may have taken to the European nation. Chuck Schumer released a statement supporting this investigation, saying “if the Trump family has spent even one dime on LEGO products in the past, we will find out and we will prosecute. This is unacceptable behavior from the leader of the United States. Foreign companies have no right to do any business here.” He later clarified his statement claiming he’s never once purchased anything that wasn’t made in America.

Joy Behar of The View tweeted “what do you expect? He imported his wife, why wouldn’t he import the wall?!” She was later forced to apologize for her insensitive remarks about immigration.

Hillary Clinton responded to a request for comment “we need to stop anything foreign from coming into this nation… well, I mean except illegal immigrants, other than that though… oh wait, and Clinton Foundation donations, but anything else we must stop immediately.”

Oddly enough, nobody seemed to mind he’d hired a toy manufacturer to build the southern border wall…

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